The Importance of Family & Conversation/Plot & Life Updates

As I navigate my grief, I realize the importance of family and friends. Speaking about my loss brings me peace at times.

This situation has made me realize more people love and support our family than I thought. I have learned that going through this traumatic loss has brought our family closer. It has made me more of a gentle soul and, so far, has taught me to slow down and absorb what is going on around me.

For example, my husband was hospitalized this past week for having really low sodium and feeling sick due to his medication "malfunctioning" after being on it for the past 15 years. He has a condition called DI or Diabetes Insipidus. To know more, I encourage you to Google it! When our close friends and family figured out what was going on, we were again surrounded by love and support. It has made me realize that in these stressful times that we continue to go through, the people in our lives that care continue to show up and be there for us. Sometimes it takes unfortunate situations to make us realize who we have by our side. I can feel the love and support that Lillian continues to send to us, even when I continue to question why life is sending us so many curveballs this year.

I will admit, I have had to reset my own body this week after all the madness. I keep having to remind myself I can let my guard down once in a while and rest. I don't always have to have it all together.

I had a chat recently with a friend and I said, "I don't want people to think this flower farming journey is just a distraction for me. Flowers and gardening have been the only things to help me so far. Seeing flowers, even before Lillian's passing, has always brought me a tremendous amount of joy, but especially now." I was quickly reminded, for one - who cares what others think? You are creating something beautiful in the name of someone you love. Feeling joy doesn't mean my love for Lillian has stopped; it means my love is still very much alive and it's showing up in a new form. It's the way I see her every day and the way I stay connected to her. I am not running from my grief - I am running with it.

Speaking of flowers and to give you all a little update - last Thursday I started some baby's breath and these beautiful carnations from seed. I am happy to see this week that they are happy and sprouting! I also planted some Strawflower Swiss Giants in some seed trays today. My goal is to have some flowers to make for fall arrangements this year. I hope I can share these flowers with you when they are beautiful and bloomed. I also am getting ready to have my dad come out and hook up some outlets in the greenhouse so I can run a fan out there. It is incredibly hot right now!

As always, thank you for taking the time to read my updates. It always makes me feel better to share how Lillian still lives through me. In six days, she will be four months old already, and it has been tugging at my heart. Keep on the lookout for new pictures added to my website!