Five Months

A lot has been going on around the farm this month! It has been a minute since I sat down to write and collect my thoughts. I figured this morning would be the best time to do that while my daughter is at school. Here is an August recap and how the postpartum journey after loss has been treating me.

One day this summer, my husband Jeff was at our local farm store. One of the store managers offered him a discount on a chicken coop. A really nice discount, actually. We had been talking about raising chickens since last spring, so we decided to jump on the offer of buying a coop and starting our own little "chicken family." When I got pregnant last July with Lillian, we had put the plan on hold for a little while since we were preparing for a baby and wouldn't have much time to spend raising the chicks and giving them the attention that they would need.

I think I was as excited as Chloe to get these baby chicks. I am sure that the store was tired of me calling at least twice a day asking if they had arrived yet! One morning they finally arrived, and Chloe and I were on our way to pick up our new family members. We ended up with four cinnamon queens, three sapphire gems, and two Americana chickens! They are all so sweet and growing like weeds already. Three weeks have gone by fast with them. Soon they will be moved from their small horse trough home to the coop out by the greenhouse. I also plan to use our new family members as little "fertilizers" for our flower plot. They poop PLENTY.

Chloe turned three. She is sassy, spunky, sweet, and a little stubborn. She may have gotten that little bit of stubbornness from her father and me. She is our saving grace and best friend, even when she is having those "toddler days" when they yell at you for not letting them peel their own banana or not letting them have Smarties for breakfast. It has been a learning curve of compromises daily, but I am fortunate and blessed that she is our daughter. We love her so incredibly much and her fiery, loving personality.

When August 29th arrived, it didn't even feel like Lillian was five months old already. How did five months come and go so fast? How has it been five months since I delivered my beautiful baby girl—to say hello and goodbye so fast? Every day she continues to guide me on the path where I need to be going. She sits around me quietly when I am having a "day" or if I am questioning my new journey in life or if I am upset. Lillian's presence is strong, as I have mentioned in past blogs. I know when she is there—and that is every single day at some point. "Mom—this is what you need to be doing." I can envision springtime already and all of my flower bulbs coming up bold and bright like her. I picture myself out there (hopefully) harvesting and making my bouquets. Lillian is the definition of everything I envision for this—beauty, love, strength, boldness, determination, etc. I feel like I have to do this for her. Since the day she was born, I have compared her beauty to a flower.